TAKE IT EASY !

Today, I went to listen to a lecture about Genji Monogatari. And while I was listening to the lecture, an idea came up with me. The idea was "Murasaki Shikibu might have been a 'fujoshi.'"

The professor didn't say such things at all during his lecture, and I don't know why that occurred to me. However, I kinda think that this is not a too too crazy guess. I haven't read whole Genji Monogatari, but as long as I guess from what I know, I think she has some elements of fujoshi. Well this is just my guess.

Such history stuff has reminded me of the Edo era. I think the culture of that era was totally low culture if I use the term of "high" and "low" culture. Moreover, I would like to describe that culture as eros, gross, and nonsense.

Another thing is that before Meiji era, homosexual wasn't taboo at all. I guess you know that some daimyo loved young cute boys. So, what is considered as "hentai" is not really so if we consider them historically.

This was a very interesting film in a way that this is based on the younger days of Che Guevara. As a film and as a story, I didn’t feel this film was awesome because sometimes the things people say is too stereotypical and not natural. I think this is because I read the English subtitle but not actually listening what they say. Having said that, however, to know a bit about Che Guevara, who is a historical figure for me, though this film was a great experience.

Actually, I had little interest in South America though I have been interested in Cuba. How this country manage its life under US pressure is very curious and Che Guevara and Fidel Castro are, I think the people to look into. This film made me look at South America. I don’t think what the film said was not only South American situations but all over the world. Still, I kinda got some ideas about South America.

Long time ago (maybe almost 10 years?), I have gone to an exhibition about the baroque art in South America. I saw a strong influence of Catholics and Spanish in the art while I still felt the differences from the European baroque. I felt some native sense in it.

So now, the I-SPY event has finished. That was awesome! I really appreciate that I was there. To tell the truth, however, I was too nervous to fully enjoy the event. Before my performance, I was too nervous to remember the film clips screened. After the performance, I was 1) tired, 2) relieved, and 3) excited and still I don’t remember the detail. Still I did take some pictures of the last performer, Sachiyo san.

Yesterday, I met a person who organized this event. While we were talking, she said something, and that made me happy. I’m glad that I could have such an audience. I hope some other people also felt something from my performance.

Now I have a connection with Powell Street Festival Society as well. This is a great thing cuz my study is about Japanese Canadians here. This connection will help me a lot in the future. Also there is an occasion coming. I’m gonne volunteer at a party where I may be able to meet another person from this society as well. I’m really thankful for people around me.

I’m gonna play a performance this Thursday. I am getting more and more nervous. Under this circumstance, I have found an article about the event in the Georgia Straight. The article focuses on another performer on the event. I know her personally, and I like her performance, so I got very excited when I found the article. And it was in the Georgia Straight!!! Because I am also performing in the event, my name is also in the article I was introduced in a line as “photographer and koto virtuoso.” that is actually wow to me. I don’t know how many people read the article but I should keep this article for me =)

The event info

Name：I-SPY: Voyeurism in Japanese Contemporary Culture
Host：Powell Street Festival Society and Blim
Date: June 21, 2007
Place: Vancouver Japaense Language School, 5th Floor
Address: 487 Alexander Street
Door open: 8pm
Cost: $8-10

I attended "When the Camera Stops Rolling..." This was a panel discussion by some filmmakers. They discussed what their relations with the subjects of their films were like.

Some topics:

Whose stories are the films? The subjects? Or the directors’?

What is the power relationship in the field?

Some comments from the discussion:

The important thing is what the truth for “them”

Being honest is crucial

Establishing ‘trust” is the key

Some directors told that they didn’t see them as subjects but as individuals.

TV is more superficial and power dynamics are more obvious because they have less time.

An interesting story:

One film was from Norway dealing with three siblings (2 brothers and 1 sister) who were all sexually abused by their father when they were little. When they made the film, mainstream media, such as newspapers, claimed that this kind of things shouldn’t be on screen. This is because those siblings lost on the court because the father didn’t admit what he did. In Norway, people tend to think that if someone lost in a court, such people have nothing to say.

However, the film was not challenging the result of the judgement but telling the life of those who were abused. And the directors want audience to come and watch the film and judge it by themselves. But the media’s negative attitude prevented people from coming to the theatre. It was sad because if people actually watched it, they would notice that what media had said was not really true.

I thought this was interesting.

I watched Unbuckling My Bible Belt.

Since I was volunteering that time, I could watch only the second half of the film.

HOWEVER, I heard lots of jaw-dropping comments by people in the US.

Here are some of them:

- I don’t think Bush is like a person from Texas. He is TOO LIBERAL.

- America should be a CONSERVATIVE country.

- America is a CHRISTIAN country.

- Muslims, ehhh THEY BONB AND ATTACK PEOPLE, unfortunately.

And even a father thinks that gay is kinda "end of the world" thing. Actually, one of his sons is a gay. And the son said that his father haven’t been able to comprehend the fact that his son is gay. He has his own world, which is his family, and in it, there is an "end of the world." For him, this is very very difficult to understand.

And his mother, she is more open, but in front of the camera, she said that she was suffering between what she believes and the one who she loves. She said she knew her son, and she accepted what her son was, but still this is a very difficult situation for her, and she even started crying.

I think it is good to have something to believe strongly; but on the other hand, I think that strong belief sometimes narrows down people's view towards the world. I don’t know, maybe they don’t mind living in such a narrow world, or they may even prefer to live such a world because they don’t need to be shocked and be able to spend comfortable life in a limited therefore well known world.

If I talk about happiness, this may be no big deal. However, if such narrow perspective and stereotypes/prejudices cause some problems to others, for example, Muslims and gays are not welcome, or Iraq is attacked, it might be better to change their way of thinking.

I really wonder why the US is called the country of freedom. It seems there is no freedom of religion. And even in such a region where people believe in Christianity, that claims the equality among any human beings, racism remains strongly.

And when people asked if they turn the other cheek, they said that that was another story, and that they need to defend themselves.

I went to the event Humour Me! by NAAAP Vancouver and CBC. This was very interesting and funny. They were really cool. But it’s difficult to explain something funny, I would write here about other interesting things that I hear at the event.

When asked if being Asian is a part of funny things, one said, "I can’t hide that I am Asian, and what’s funny is up to audience."

Actual funny is contrast, such as race.

Asked if how the parents thinking about him doing some sort of couled-be-offensive comedy, one of the panellists answered, "none of my parents speak English."

There is lack of representation of Asian in the North America. They have to be kinda representation.

Generalization, stereotype is very difficult thing to deal with. One of panellists, who is gay, said that she didn’t feel comfortable with the so called gay activity and that she had different way to deal with gay things. So her point is the question towards the generalization.

"Being funny is kinda survival thing as a visible minority at school. If you can make your enemy laugh, this is great."

I watched Saudi Solutions.

This is a film about how Saudi people are dealing with the relationship between their religion and modernization. The director went Saudi Arabia to see how badly women cannot work in this country. I thought this director’s view point is very biased. To me it seemed that she thought that Saudi should change their system.

However, the director experienced very different attitudes of theirs. When she asked about how people think abut working women, a women, who is also a working woman, told her that people are welcoming the situation, and that men prefer working women to marry. Also, she said that, in terms of women who stay at home, staying at home is their choice.

Even though lots of women stay at all, female news casters are seen on TV.

Women in the film said,

 - They have their own way to deal with the modernization.

 - Modernization and Islam can coexist

 - Some want to change but they feel that Saudi society doesn’t want a rapid change, so it takes time. This doesn’t mean that their system is bad.

 - Western pressure on us to be like Western, but they don’t like it. They are proud of their culture and religion.

 - They don’t like the pressure from outside, they don’t want pressure but want to do things by themselves.

I think these does make sense, and are what I feel towards Western society. Don’t pressure on me, don’t preach me, don’t make me like you, I am not you I am myself, kind of stuff.

This relationship between western and eastern was shown in the film as conversations between the director and the women in Saudi Arabia. I kinda felt that the director is trying to make a story that women are discriminated. Even though, or may be because, the director had such a biased attitude, the film showed the different from Western but independent way that the women in Saudi have.

I like this film so much that I now feel that, if I became a teacher here, I would like to show this to the students.

I watched 誰も知らない/Nobody Knows by 是枝裕和/Koreeda Hirokazu. This film is based on a real story, and this film tells a lot of things such as the problems happening because of the characteristics of cities, the choice between the life as a mother and the life as a woman, and so on. But for me, the most impact topic is being the oldest among siblings.

I know what exactly it is because I am also a first child. Adults expect you to take care of youngsters, to be a modes of them, and to help adults. The younger rely on you with pure minds. Even though you don't feel like look after or listen to them, you can't ignore such people who rely on you. You feel kind of responsibility for it though you may actually not need to feel so. You sometime feel stressed out, but you don’t express it to anyone cuz you don’t need to be a burden of them. Maybe younger sisters and brothers don’t think in that way. They don’t think that they may be burdens of someone, but they may rather feel like they can ask for help anytime when they want. And it is you who have to make an important decision because the young are just wait for your decision, and they have never thought that they take responsibility. You think a lot for them, and they follow you but you are sure that they like you and they respect you. You might feel that this is a bit unfair, but since you are so used to it, and you can’t blame youngsters, you rarely get mad. And actually you don’t hate that kind of life so much.

Anyway, I did understand the way he felt, think, and behave in any situation. So it was really tough to keep watching. That’s too much for a 12 year old kid. But I knew he never gave up because that’s what the first child choose. If you are also a first child, then you might know what I mean. if you are not a first child, then you might not know. This is such a feeling. Without growing up as a person who everyone around him or her thinks were supposed to take care of others.

These postings following this one are some thoughts that I had but wasn’t able to post here since I had no internet connection at home for a week. While having no internet access, I was feeling like I was traveling around Vancouver. Okay, let me explain what I did during this period and what I mean by saying "traveling."

First off, I went to some places. Since I live in a new place, I used the buses which were not familiar to me yet, went through different routes with new scenery. While I was on the bus, I was having a feeling that was a mixture of nervousness and excitement. I was watching out carefully not to miss the bus stop I was supposed to get off at as well as enjoying what I saw that was new to me. Even while I was walking a street, I had to be careful not to miss the corner to turn, be sure that I am walking to a right direction, and even check my position thinking about what time it was and where I can see the sun. On the other hand, it is true that I enjoyed being lost with the feeling that I had a lot of time.

I read some articles from Georgia Straight. Since May is Asian Heritage Month, the articles were related to Asian stuff in Vancouver including how schools teach about Asian history or literature to kids, how we know about Asia here, and so on. There was a story, in one of the articles, about a person who studies about Asia by himself, and one of his focuses was what Japan did to Asian countries during the WWII, for example, Nanjing Massacre and women kidnapped to comfort Japanese soldiers. He said that Japanese government was minimizing these issues, but that they (people in Vancouver) should know these things since there were lots of Asians here in Vancouver.